I just watched “Meet the Robinsons” on ABC channel. It is definitely one of the most inspirational movies I have ever seen. Simple yet inspirational. Although it might seem like a movie for children, it is a good reminder for adults that we must let go of things. I am inspired by a quote that I saw in the movie.
“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening new doors and doing new things, because we’re curious… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”
-Walt Disney
I think we, human, very often dwell in the past or keep looking backwards because of what happened to us, because of things and people that we cannot let go. But those hours and little moments remain in us and be part of us, and somehow we find a way to let the clarity define us and make us who we are today, and all we remember is how it felt. If you want to keep moving forward and see what it’s like in the future, then the only way to really know is to really let it go. It doesn’t matter what we are talking about here in terms of the past.
It is a cheesy movie. But hey! We all sometimes need these cheesy movies to remind these little things to us… not to mention that I had two bowls of delightful chocolate brown fudge ice cream on a Sunday chilly 55 Fahrenheit night.
I always dream that one day when I get married, my future husband will play his guitar at the wedding declaring his love for me… hope this will come true one day!
It’s been months since I wrote the last online journal, where should I begin? I left UCSB for good (but I’ll be back next year), and started to look for jobs. Let me tell you this, it was actually one of the toughest time of my life beside that one time Santa Barbara incident. I felt so lost, so useless, and so upset that I didn’t have a job and not a college graduate yet. And I thought to myself and God that why is this happening to me, why not other people. I was very frustrated and confused that what I was going do the next year or so.
I think one of the reasons that I “stopped” writing blogs was that I didn’t want to face it and how harsh it had been for me. Looking back… being jobless for almost three months is definitely the lowest point in my life. It was like I’m not a college graduate yet, how am I going to find a good job. Yet God was good, He provided a job to me that I would of never ever thought I would like it THAT much. I’ve been working with children who are under the age of 3, and I work with in all programs, including cognitive, speech, social, emtional, and behaviorial programs. It’s been almost 7 months, and I’ve learned a lot from the clinic. I questioned myself if this is something I want to work for a long period of time. So I talked to parents whose child or children have autism, and it turned out that I have a desire to help their children to live a normal lives. I feel how painful their parents feel when they have children who have autism. And because I’ve worked with so many hard cases, which means I’ve worked with a lot of low functioning children, makes me want to accept the challenge and change people’s lives. Seeing them improve a little already motivates me to push them a little more, seeing parents notice the difference in their children motivates me to work with them, and having such wonderful coworkers who are willing to sacriface their time and put extra effort in children’s programs motivates me to do the same thing. I seriously love my job, and I thank God for it.
I’ve always wanted to be a flight attendant ever since 1997, that’s when I was 13. Being a flight attendant is pretty much every other girls’ dream, including me as well. I always thought that this job would be so easy when I was young. And when I saw my cousin, Stephanie, actually became a flight attendant for an international airline company, I told myself that I would became of them too when I grew up.
I looked into Careerbuilder and saw this advertisement about SkyWest Airline, a small airline company flying domestically and internationally to Mexico and Canada, was hiring. So I finally decided to go to the interview. The first session was just informative, but it made me realized one thing. When they asked me if I was willing to relocate myself to domicile where it’s faraway from my home, where I always have to find places to “crash” when I’m not in my domicile. And the answer is “NO”. It seems like a fun adventure where I wouldn’t know where I would be going the next couple of days if I was on reserved or on-call. I kept asking myself if that was okay for me; and I kept asking myself that if I was okay with not knowing what to do or where to be next. Then, I realized I am a person who wants to know where I am going and what I will be doing next. Honestly, I think I would be fine with it if I was just a little younger with a high school degree. But it is not in my options anymore as I grow older and realize that being a flight attendant is not what I want to do in my life.
Of course there is another stupid reason why I can’t be flight attendant. Well, let me just put it this way… a mistake that I made. But my point is being a flight attendant was my dream job in the future. Imagining myself working while traveling and staying in hotels for free. Why not?! When I was listening to the lady who presented for Skywest, she said this job could be really lonely cuz you’re always on your own; you’re always on the go and packing your stuff from places to places. It makes me feel like there is no real community, and what I want is a group or people who care about me surrounding me. Then, that how I made my decision to leave the room during the break and before the 1 minute group interview explaining how you are best candidate for the airline company in front of everyone who wanted to apply for the job.
I was a little sad after I made the decision. But it was a good one as I know what God’s desires are for me and what fits me the best. I think God has brought to a closure to this dream I used to have. He filled in questions with the answers I had for him. It again assured of who I am in God’s heart as I decided to walk out of the room. Although my flight attendant journey never started, it started from the beginning since the day I decided it as my dream job. Now, I’m closing this journey by writing this blog. And it is officially closed.
It’s been almost a month since my last post. I’ve been so busy with school, work, and InterVarsity, and Single Students Apartment Community Council (SSACC). I barely want to sit down and journal about my life because I get so tired at the end of the day, and it’s kind of sad. But I’m going to use my 10 min study break to type my highlights of these past weeks.
First of all, I threw my birthday cocktail party last weekend, and it was a lot of fun. More than 80 people came that I could not even get through my apartment. Everyone watched me blow the candles and unwrap my presents. One things I’m glad about is that I locked my bedroom door; one of my neighbors’s laptop got stolen. What a bizarre! My family came as well, which totally made my night. However, my mom got a little upset because I introduced most of my friends to her but not the guy that I’m kind of seeing. I explained to her that it wasn’t the time yet. And I guess she understood.
My friends and I went to Blockbuster the other night, and we rented some movies home. And I want to recommend Pan’s Labyrinth to you all. This is a definitely a must-see movie. It’s a dark violent yet full of imaginations. So go and see this movie if you have time!
I have three and half more days away from my last final. I can’t wait til it’s all over and celebrate with friends. I’m also sad because most of my friends are graduating, and it’s like hey guys, don’t graduate, stay here for another year. But people has got to move onto the next stage of life, “The Real World”. The week is going to be choatic with finals, packing, cleaning the apartment, and moving out. Then… SUMMER HERE I COME!!
As I mentioned about God’s images couple previous blogs. I think God’s images are pretty cool. I never thought I would got these kind of images from Him. I was talking to my friend, Paul, and asked him how he got those, because I wanted to see one so bad. I was like how the heck can I get those images. Finally, Paul and I prayed about it, and He showed me something, which I thought it was pretty amazing.
I see myself in a hot dry desert using a rope to pull a big rock, no matter how hard I try to pull this rock with the rope, it’s just too heavy. Then, I find myself really thirsty due to the weather in the desert, and suddenly, there is a topical garden with a water fountain. So I run to the fountain, and drink some water. That’s the image I had from God the other night.
So I wasn’t really sure what it meant at the first place, but as we prayed about it, I thought the rock is like my burdens and struggles I have on my shoulders, and I feel like I bring it with me everywhere I go. But God knows they are really heavy that He wants me to put them down, and He gives me something that I need, just like when I am thirsty in the desert, and He offers me some sweet water. The water is like my future, it’s going to be sweet.
Well, I’m just happy that He gave me an image. Ok, I’m out!
Me
I love pictures. I love my puppy Lola, and she loves me too. I love Curious George. I love dresses and heels. I love my friends (you know who you are). I love Pringles. I love Santa Barbara. I love drinking water. I love games. I love jeans. I love being part of people's lives. I love driving, but definitely not in traffic. I love chocolates. I love Coke. I love the color of blue. I love my family. I love fruits. I love playing air-hockey. I love life. I love getting emails from people who care about me. I love to laugh. But most important of all, I love God.
I am just here to write about my random thoughts, God, my life, my surroundings… the colors of my world.
