Archive for Famliy

Bitter-sweetness

{ Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 8:59 pm } · { Famliy, God, Youth Group, fear, love }
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It’s been such a hard emotional mentally challenged yet sweet and awesome week and weekend for me.

Having my brother coming back from U of Oregon for a week was a great thing. However, he came back for our grandfather’s funeral.   This is bitter-sweet.

Knowing my mom was sent to the hospital by the ambulance and the fact of unknown of why she was in hospital when I was work scared me because I was not able to reach her. But talking to the doctor about my mother was okay after I got there made me feel a lot better. This is bitter-sweet.

From what I experienced about how I was so afraid of losing her to knowing that she is going to make it through let me realize how much I love my mother and cannot afford to lose her yet. This is bitter-sweet.

Getting stuck in the traffic from Santa Ana to Van Nuys for about 2.5 hours while listening to my little pink ipod nano, out of four hundred and eighty four songs I own in my ipod, God arranged to play my two favorite worship songs and have my mentor to call me to see how I was doing at the same time. He knew that I needed Him at that moment as I was going through all these and trying to process my emotions. Telling God that “God! You have gotta be kidding me!” that I was just so in awe of what He has done for me in my life so far. This is bitter-sweet.

Going to Winter Youth Retreat as a youth leader and knowing that I would not get enough rest for the upcoming week for work discouraged me and felt a little dragged from the retreat. But God is good! He helped me, and I did have a good time with the youth, especially the girls. Realizing that God did some AMAZING work in their lives this weekend encouraged me to want more of good relationships and friendships with them, and it wasn’t a drag anymore. This is not just bitter-sweet, but it’s beyond sweet!!!

Going to my grandfather’s funeral and being able to play my sweet guitar for his funeral in front of my relatives, and my family was such a privilege. This is bitter-sweet.

So much to take in, so much to sink in, and so much to process and digest within a week. But God was with me, is with me, and will be with me. God is so faithful. He is beyond more than anymore can ever imagine!

” Do you not know? Have you not heard?

The Lord is everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall;

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.

They will roar on wings like eagles;

They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

- Isaiah 40:28-31

The beginning of my Summer

{ Sunday, July 1, 2007 @ 7:56 am } · { China, Famliy, Friends, Frisbee, Hawaii, Mission Trips, New York, Summer, UCLA, friendship, study, traffic jams }
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It’s been so much fun hanging out with my family and friends. And of course, I have to mention about my first UCLA experience. First of all, I really want to say is that driving to UCLA freaking sucks!! I have a 8:30 class in the morning, so I have to get up early in the morning, and I’m sure to all of us that it makes sense that I have to get up early, right?! So I got up at 6:30am, and showered and grabbed a cup of coffee, and began my journey to UCLA. However, I was stuck in the traffic for almost 2 hours, TWO HOURS!!!! Isn’t that ridiculous?! I was so embarrassed walking into the classroom. I also was stuck in the traffic on the way back home around 3:30pm for another TWO HOURS! That’s FOUR hours in total! It’s nut, and it is driving me crazy. Honestly, I just can’t stand the traffic in LA. But other than the traffic, I really love my classes, and the professors and TA’s are nice and friendly.

My friend Jeremy and his friend Tiffany from Virginia Tech were on the their way to China for a mission trip, and they had a chance to stop by LA for about two and half days, so I was the tour guide for them. It wasn’t easy to be a tour guide because it was exhausting especially I did all the driving. But I had fun, and I am so glad we got the chance to hang out, and he and Tiffany, were able to see some of the hot spots in LA. Since I’m taking summer classes at UCLA, so I thought it might be a good idea for them to see how UCLA is like, so I dragged them along with me. Jeremy brought his frisbee with him to UCLA cuz he promised he would teach me how to play it, so he did, and I learned how to throw a frisbee during my break. I can now play Frisbee with people. Sweeet!!

I have a paper due on Tuesday, and I haven’t even started reading at all. Oh no!! I’m quite behind on my readings, and I’ll be going to Hawaii and New York for the next two weekends (I’m sooooo excited about these two trips). That means I’ll have not much time to read and study. I better start reading now.

Good day gone bad

{ Wednesday, May 9, 2007 @ 12:18 am } · { Famliy, Hope, divorce, marriage }
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Today was not a bad day until I finished tutoring Martin. It was such a beautiful day at Santa Barbara. You just gotta love the weather, and living 10 minutes from Beach is just awesome. So I went to classes, and took my tests today, and I think I did pretty well on them. And I went to tutor Martin in the afternoon. After tutoring, his mom told me this will be the last week tutoring him. I didn’t ask her why, but she just was very honest, and told me that she and her husband just separated. I was in shock, and I didn’t know what to do besides saying I’m sorry. And she started to cry, so I offered her a hug, but I’m sure there is nothing I could do at that moment.

When I left their home, my heart ached and is still aching really bad, and had tears in my eyes. I never really thought about how I felt when my parents’ divorce. I sighed as I drove back to my apartment, “There is one more broken family in this world.” I felt the pain as she told me about the separation. Even though I’m not her, I understand where she’s coming from because of what my mom, my siblings and I had been through. Martin also has a younger brother and sister. A mom with three kids, just like us… my heart is sreaming out loud, and please excuse my language, “what the flip is going on?! I don’t understand! Why does this have to happen to kids like them? Why do parents separate? Why can’t they think thoroughly before they get married?”

Martin and his siblings are just as innocent as we were. My parents separated when I was 8, and my brother and sister were 3 and 6 respectively, and now that Martin is 8, his brother is 3 and his sister is 6, and I totally feel the relation between us. How are they going to feel once they find out the truth? A part of me saying that they will be fine, and will get used to it just like us, but are they really going to be okay?! Different people have different kinds of perspectives of lives when it comes to family. Some blame themselves that they are not good enough for their parents, so they separated; Some think that it was father’s fault; some think it was mother’s fault. When people get older, they find out more about why their parents separated. There is a part of me saying that my father was never there for me. So how about Martin’s father?! Will he be there for him and his siblings? or is he just going be there for some special occasions? I don’t know… because it’s not my place to ask. Like my friend, Patrick, said, each family has its own way working. They will have to work it out somehow.

On top of that, is his mother going to be emotionally and financially okay? how is his mother going to support three kids? All of the questions are pondering in my head right now. I have to say my mother was a strong lady when she divorced my father. She took care of us, went to work, went on business trips, came home, cooked for us, checked our homework, took us to trips, and etc. She is a super woman. Now that I think about it, I have soo much respect for her, and I appreciate her more.

It’s such a beautiful day today, but my day has gone bad because of family problems. Separation and divorce is still going to go on and on. When will this be ended? I guess no one will be able to have an answer for this question…