Jason Mraz is playing at the Hollywood Bowl in October!!! How exciting!! Can’t wait to see him perform!
Routines…
It’s been awhile since I posted something on this blog. Simply because I was too tired and I’ve been too busy with work and schedules of arrangements. Today, my sister and I had a conversation how life has become a routine for people. You wake up, go to work, get off work, then sleep, same thing happens for another day… then here comes the weekend, then work again. It has become such a routine, it almost just turn me in a robot. And I asked myself, where is the excitment and sparks in my life? I need some! And I’ll find some!
Bitter-sweetness
It’s been such a hard emotional mentally challenged yet sweet and awesome week and weekend for me.
Having my brother coming back from U of Oregon for a week was a great thing. However, he came back for our grandfather’s funeral. This is bitter-sweet.
Knowing my mom was sent to the hospital by the ambulance and the fact of unknown of why she was in hospital when I was work scared me because I was not able to reach her. But talking to the doctor about my mother was okay after I got there made me feel a lot better. This is bitter-sweet.
From what I experienced about how I was so afraid of losing her to knowing that she is going to make it through let me realize how much I love my mother and cannot afford to lose her yet. This is bitter-sweet.
Getting stuck in the traffic from Santa Ana to Van Nuys for about 2.5 hours while listening to my little pink ipod nano, out of four hundred and eighty four songs I own in my ipod, God arranged to play my two favorite worship songs and have my mentor to call me to see how I was doing at the same time. He knew that I needed Him at that moment as I was going through all these and trying to process my emotions. Telling God that “God! You have gotta be kidding me!” that I was just so in awe of what He has done for me in my life so far. This is bitter-sweet.
Going to Winter Youth Retreat as a youth leader and knowing that I would not get enough rest for the upcoming week for work discouraged me and felt a little dragged from the retreat. But God is good! He helped me, and I did have a good time with the youth, especially the girls. Realizing that God did some AMAZING work in their lives this weekend encouraged me to want more of good relationships and friendships with them, and it wasn’t a drag anymore. This is not just bitter-sweet, but it’s beyond sweet!!!
Going to my grandfather’s funeral and being able to play my sweet guitar for his funeral in front of my relatives, and my family was such a privilege. This is bitter-sweet.
So much to take in, so much to sink in, and so much to process and digest within a week. But God was with me, is with me, and will be with me. God is so faithful. He is beyond more than anymore can ever imagine!
” Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Lord is everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall;
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will roar on wings like eagles;
They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
- Isaiah 40:28-31
Dreams…
I always dream that one day when I get married, my future husband will play his guitar at the wedding declaring his love for me… hope this will come true one day!
Re-educating women?!
Recently, I listened to Ryan Seacrest on Kiisfm one morning. He invited this guy called Dante Moore who is the author of “The Re-education of the Female” to his talk show. I listened to it, and realized that Moore is absolutely very un-educated. The reason behind this is because of the book he wrote. Moore purports to explain how women should go about sex, relationships and marriage — according to men. Here is his mission as a self-described re-educator.
Let me quote something that he writes in the introduction, “I want to express my anger and frustration as a man with the women I feel are undereducated, misinformed, and ill-prepared about their responsibilities in getting and maintaining a relationship with a man of quality.” He thinks he is such a man, and thinks that women’s responsibilities include cooking, staying skinny, wearing sexy things around the house and doing whatever your man tells you to do because he writes “”Here’s a little secret, ladies: men never really ask for anything. They command. . . . And believe me, what you won’t do, ten broads around the corner will.” Later on, he writes about how size matters a lot in women “The fatter you get, the more you decrease your potential single-man pool. Let me give you an example. When you go to the grocery store to shop, do you pick out the nastiest-looking, most rotten, smelliest fruit or meat you can find? Oh, you don’t? Why not? . . . It’s the same with men when they see baby elephant-sized, out-of-shape women.”
Honestly, after listening to all these and reading something about this book online ( I would never ever buy his book) makes me have a strong feeling about his statements. I was so tempted to call and tell him that I think you’re the one who needs a real education. I understand he is an engineer. Okay… maybe he is smart, but I don’t think he is smart to the point where he can educate us women. I totally disagree with his statement saying that women should be doing whatever the men ask them to. We are not your slaves first of all! I understand that there are housewives, and trust me, if I were one, I would be cooking and being a good wife. But under one circumstances…. I think men should help too because relationship takes two to make it happen. It sounds like in his book that women are the one to give, give, and give. I hate that when a man just sit on the couch and ask for things that we want, it just makes him look like a big kid; or just sit down there and watch his wife wear sexy lingerie while she is walking around the house. Maybe not walking around the house, but by what he means is that wear it all the time. Lingerie are great, and they make our bodies look very sexy and mysterious. But if I were married, I would wear them occasionally to spice things up, but not to the point where I would wore them everyday, in my opinion, sex life would be boring if I did.
Oh yeah, and also, about the if you don’t do it, and there will be tons of women doing it for your man comment. I absolutely disagree!! If my man would rather have other women serving him, then that means he is an absolute moron because he made the vow of loving his wife and spending the rest of his life with her. Where is the value of marriage then?!
By the way, I’m sure there are some men out there like bigger women. I think that’s very discriminating and swallow of him to say that. People come from different family background and values, and some people just think that maybe they don’t want to follow the media and the world that always misinforms what we should wear and do with our bodies. I’m a size 0 girl, and I still find it very offensive. Then imagine for some of the women.
Frankly, because of all these authors writing books like this encouraging women to do these and do that, and reinforcing men to treat their wives like “slaves”, we are facing lots of divorces in the world. I do not think women need to be reeducated personally, but instead men and women should take the time to discuss and communicate with their spouses or partners to figure out a way to work the relationship and marriage out. A relationship always takes two. Having a person always gives and the other takes is not going to work out; just like maths… a negative (giving) with a positive (taking) always comes out a negative. I’ve heard enough stories on the radio where some people agree and some disagree. I don’t know what you want to say or think, but this is what I think!
9 months
It’s been months since I wrote the last online journal, where should I begin? I left UCSB for good (but I’ll be back next year), and started to look for jobs. Let me tell you this, it was actually one of the toughest time of my life beside that one time Santa Barbara incident. I felt so lost, so useless, and so upset that I didn’t have a job and not a college graduate yet. And I thought to myself and God that why is this happening to me, why not other people. I was very frustrated and confused that what I was going do the next year or so.
I think one of the reasons that I “stopped” writing blogs was that I didn’t want to face it and how harsh it had been for me. Looking back… being jobless for almost three months is definitely the lowest point in my life. It was like I’m not a college graduate yet, how am I going to find a good job. Yet God was good, He provided a job to me that I would of never ever thought I would like it THAT much. I’ve been working with children who are under the age of 3, and I work with in all programs, including cognitive, speech, social, emtional, and behaviorial programs. It’s been almost 7 months, and I’ve learned a lot from the clinic. I questioned myself if this is something I want to work for a long period of time. So I talked to parents whose child or children have autism, and it turned out that I have a desire to help their children to live a normal lives. I feel how painful their parents feel when they have children who have autism. And because I’ve worked with so many hard cases, which means I’ve worked with a lot of low functioning children, makes me want to accept the challenge and change people’s lives. Seeing them improve a little already motivates me to push them a little more, seeing parents notice the difference in their children motivates me to work with them, and having such wonderful coworkers who are willing to sacriface their time and put extra effort in children’s programs motivates me to do the same thing. I seriously love my job, and I thank God for it.
Flight attendants
I’ve always wanted to be a flight attendant ever since 1997, that’s when I was 13. Being a flight attendant is pretty much every other girls’ dream, including me as well. I always thought that this job would be so easy when I was young. And when I saw my cousin, Stephanie, actually became a flight attendant for an international airline company, I told myself that I would became of them too when I grew up.
I looked into Careerbuilder and saw this advertisement about SkyWest Airline, a small airline company flying domestically and internationally to Mexico and Canada, was hiring. So I finally decided to go to the interview. The first session was just informative, but it made me realized one thing. When they asked me if I was willing to relocate myself to domicile where it’s faraway from my home, where I always have to find places to “crash” when I’m not in my domicile. And the answer is “NO”. It seems like a fun adventure where I wouldn’t know where I would be going the next couple of days if I was on reserved or on-call. I kept asking myself if that was okay for me; and I kept asking myself that if I was okay with not knowing what to do or where to be next. Then, I realized I am a person who wants to know where I am going and what I will be doing next. Honestly, I think I would be fine with it if I was just a little younger with a high school degree. But it is not in my options anymore as I grow older and realize that being a flight attendant is not what I want to do in my life.
Of course there is another stupid reason why I can’t be flight attendant. Well, let me just put it this way… a mistake that I made. But my point is being a flight attendant was my dream job in the future. Imagining myself working while traveling and staying in hotels for free. Why not?! When I was listening to the lady who presented for Skywest, she said this job could be really lonely cuz you’re always on your own; you’re always on the go and packing your stuff from places to places. It makes me feel like there is no real community, and what I want is a group or people who care about me surrounding me. Then, that how I made my decision to leave the room during the break and before the 1 minute group interview explaining how you are best candidate for the airline company in front of everyone who wanted to apply for the job.
I was a little sad after I made the decision. But it was a good one as I know what God’s desires are for me and what fits me the best. I think God has brought to a closure to this dream I used to have. He filled in questions with the answers I had for him. It again assured of who I am in God’s heart as I decided to walk out of the room. Although my flight attendant journey never started, it started from the beginning since the day I decided it as my dream job. Now, I’m closing this journey by writing this blog. And it is officially closed.
Rainy days
It’s always good to sit down and read a good book on a rainy day. I’m reading this book ” Abundance” — A novel of Marie Antoninette.

